May 062009

Bristol Palin, the throw pillow-chested single teen mom, has a new job.

Abstinence Advocate.  I am NOT making this up.

ABC News: Teen Mom Bristol Palin: the New Face of Abstinence

So here’s a quote: “Regardless of what I did personally, I just think that abstinence is the only … 100 percent foolproof way to prevent pregnancy.”

I guess I have to give her high marks for logic. She appears to know where babies come from. But how does she propose to be taken seriously “regardless of what [she] did personally”? I appreciate that she’s trying to turn lemons in to lemonade and all that, but does she really expect to be an effective abstinence advocate, going around to high schools all over the country where half the audience is thinking about having sex with her throw pillows (which is also a high-percent-success-rate way to avoid pregnancy by the way) and the other half is thinking about getting boob jobs? And is she going to bring Jr. along with her so that she can give parenting tips “just in case”?