Mar 272009

My mom made me wear the scarf

My mom made me wear the scarf

Check it out, Lauren is going computer shopping!

Microsoft should be given credit for not giving up. They launched this new commercial in their “I’m a PC” campaign on Thursday and this time they’re taking Apple directly to task for being . . . wait for it . . . expensive and cool.

This everybody knows. It’s like pointing out that Yao Ming is tall.

In the ad Lauren spells out her requirements: ‘Speed, comfortable keyboard, 17″ screen’. The narrator adds the final requirement (I guess Lauren forgot that part of the script), ‘for under one thousand dollars’.

Bummer, dude. The Apple store only has one laptop under a thousand dollars, and it is a full five inches under Lauren’s specification. Hmm, a bit obsessed with size, aren’t we Lauren? Did you just have an unsatisfying romantic experience or something? I mean, you are going to just drop all comparisons of quality, performance, usefulness, stability and the million other reasons to buy a Mac and go with cheap and big?

No, wait for the actual motive that Microsoft actually shows at the actual end of the actual ad. Once she makes the Right Choice, the disembodied Hand of Microsoft is seen giving Lauren the cash to buy her new laptop, a Pavlovian experiment executed in the parking lot like some kind of drug deal. Apparently Microsoft wants – wait, NEEDS us to equate expensive with bad, and cheap with good. Something tells me this isn’t going to go over as well as they would like. After all, I think this was how the Yugo was marketed as well. And we know how that worked out.

Let us know how you are liking your bottom-feeder laptop in about six months, OK Lauren?

You can watch the comedy here.

And here’s an idea for the next commercial in this series. I’m Tony the approachable and serviceably attractive college student, and I want a full-featured modern office productivity suite with ‘word processor, desktop publishing, advanced spreadsheet and data visualization, and a kick-ass presentation package’ for under one hundred dollars.

Oh wait, Microsoft doesn’t sell iWork.